Zee, my half cent's worth from a newbie....
First up, pickle; like bentprop mentioned, citric acid works well to clean the parts. It is also non-toxic, cheap, and easy to dispose of when you need to. It is safe to use around other people (and pets) and you don't need oodles of protective clothing while using it. In fact I use none; not even gloves, and take parts out of the pickle with bare hands; it does burn a tiny bit if you have any cuts on your hands though, so some consideration is worthwhile for gloves.
I found dunking the workpiece straight into the pickle bath after soldering really helps to clean it up quickly. I would NOT recommend doing this with commercial pickling agents or acids other than the citric acid! - You will get some splashing & vapors coming off. A clean toothbrush helps with additional scrubbing.
Having gone through this thread, I see where some of my soldering woes stem from; I have 40% silver, cadmium free rods, so that means my parts must get to a much higher temperature for the solder to flow than if I had 45% or higher silver content rods. Well, the 40% is all I could get my hands on here in Windhoek, so I'll have to make do. You should have a lot less problems if you can get higher silver content rods/wire.
A tip I can give you: I have been inclined to use way too much solder in previous ventures. You need just a light dab of the rod - I got some practice with this yesterday with the boiler; all in all I used only about 150mm of a length of 1.5mm solder rod for all the work I did... And the process seems to get easier the more I do it
Regards, Arnold