Humour in model engineering

[Tin Falcon]

Now back to a more humorous note.

Here is a good one about Trained professionals vs armatures. This one happen several years ago to my brother. He was having problems with his phone service. The phone company tech came to the house to fix the problem . It was determined that the 3" modular phone wire that goes to from the wall jack to the wall phone was bad. So the tech walks out to his van to get the part and returns empty handed. He tells my brother we will have to come back I do not have any in the van. My brother says to him why don' t you just make one.
The response from the tech. You gotta love this was a blank "Deer in the headlight stare" my brother then reaches under the the counter pulls out a tool kit, fabricated the wire assembly, and hands it to the tech. The dumbfounded tech says gee I didn't know you could make those!!

Now why my brother bothered to call the phone company instead of fixing the problem himself in a good question. Maybe he figured the phone company tech had the tools an knowledge to fix it quicker . Hmmm.
Tin

 

[lugnut]

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I
just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

 

[Tin Falcon]

OK here are a couple of gems.

Tin

 

[Bogstandard]

Very good Tin, have you made any of these this week?
But the words do have a ring of truth to them, anything to make the machinists life difficult.

John

 

[Tin Falcon]

I know a couple of people one I worked with the other a dear friend that were handed worn parts and were asked to fabricate new parts based on the old one . Well they did right down to all the wear marks. Whoops.
Tin

 

[Tin Falcon]

Bogs is that a cat or a rat standing on the hard drive??
Tin

 

[Canyonman]

What's up with Exit signs, first off, what color is fire? Yellow/Red, so who made the Exit signs red?

While we are at it, think a minute, what where you taught in school as kids? When in a room with fire, drop to your knees and crawl, there is more air down near the floor, So...Why are the exit signs all the way above the Doorway? Shouldn't they be say 18" off the ground.

Lastly, next time you are in an auditorium type situation, look around, all the signs say exit, so...How did you get in there?

Here is one that's kinda scary, when I was in the Military we used Claymore Antipersonnel mines....now for those who don't know...there are raised letters on the OD curved side; it says.....This Side Toward Enemy.

Take Care, Ken

 

[rake60]

Tin
I printed out your "The Successful Designer" picture and hung it on the
print board next to my machine. What a range of responses! :lol:

It reminded me of another poster I hung one day. It read:

"Working here is like a tree full of monkeys.
Some monkeys are climbing up the tree, some are climbing down.
Some monkeys are just sitting still where they are.
When the monkeys at the top look down, they see is smiling faces.
When the monkeys at the bottom look up, all they see is A$$ Holes"

That poster didn't last long EITHER!

 

[Bogstandard]

Very good Rick, and not too far from the truth in most cases.

John

 

[Tin Falcon]

there have bee a couple of times I have drawn from classic literature.

A couple of shops I worked it had welding curtains to protect the rest of the shop from the weld flash.

So the though came to mind for the perfect sign

"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain"
The Great and Mighty OZ

When I worked in my buddies welding shop it was an old warehouse. At the time the lighting was poor One of the guys even brought his own from home. The place was huge kind of like lighting a cave. One year just before Christmas I put up a sign

"It was impossible to see into all the dark corners.... Darkness was cheap and Scrooge liked it"
- Charles Dickens a Christmas Carol

Tin

 

[ronm]

The title of this thread reminds me of my old machine shop teacher in high school. He told of the novice machinist who came to the foreman with a problem. He says, "Boss, I bored it out twice & it's still too big. What should I do?" Boss says, "No problem, just go to the tool room & ask for a puttin' on drill.."
Ron in CO...

 

[rake60]

I was reading a few posts on another machining forum and saw an interesting
signature. It read:
"Make it idiot proof and they will make a better IDIOT"

I think that guy is picking on ME! :lol:

I also saw a signature once that said:
"Some of life’s greatest adventures begin with the words, "Here, hold my
beer" "

Now that one may be far too true! :shock:

Rick

 

[Tin Falcon]

Ok not exactly humor I came across this in my email archives.

A machinist blessing for the year to come.



May your swarf fall in the chip tray.

May your cutting tools stay sharp.

May your cuts be smooth and your finishes bright.

May your measuring tools be where you left them and not wander off.

May you hand tools stay at hand. .

May your gears run smooth and your belts hold tight (Unless you crash then slipping is a good thing)

May your parts stay in tolerance, And look like the print not a mirror image.

Remember a home shop is like a university lab. No mistakes just lots of learning experiences.

May you be the one to find the deal at the yard sale or flea market not the guy that just left.

May the parts fit together the first time And may your engines run when they are supposed to.

Safety to all may you have the same number of working fingers(and other body parts ) at the end of this year as when you start.)

A prosperous new year to all filled with many successful and fun projects.

May your work bring the joy to others that it brings to you.

Glad tidings and Gods blessings

Tin Falcon



As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another.

 

[tattoomike68]

Look at this dancing granny, shes going for it.

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[gilessim]

John, nice van photo, it reminds me of something ,I grew up near the Glastonbury festival ,where they use a lot of those "portaloos" you know the ones that look like phone box, there they are affectionally known as "Turdis"... sorry for our American friendsw ,this would take a lot of explaining!

 

[ronm]

There was a septic tank pumper here who would introduce himself: "Hi, I'm 'Joe', (not his real name), & sh*t is my bread & butter!"

 

[Bogstandard]

At last, I have found a common source of humour between us all, it seems that sewage (or words to that effect) bridges oceans and cultural barriers.

Giles, first time I have heard of that term, very good, next time I use one I will think of you. :lol:

Don, sorry you have lost me, we don't get many of your programs like that on British tv.

Getting back to the subject, when I get to know you better I will tell you my escapades with an aircraft towing tractor, two chemical toilets, one on each running board, and a journey into the desert a few miles from Dubai.

John

 

[gilessim]

sorry folks, I just couldn't resist reminding you all of the old proverb "life is like a s**t sandwitch, the more bread you've got ,the less s**t you've got to eat!"

 

[rake60]

sorry folks, I just couldn't resist reminding you all of the old proverb "life is like a s**t sandwitch, the more bread you've got ,the less s**t you've got to eat!"

How TRUE is that?!?!

Rick

 

[Tin Falcon]

I saw a cool T-Shirt the other day. I am a mechanic , not a magician. I thing that goes for machinist as well!!
Tin