The Great Metric System Debate.

[kcmillin]

Some Comedy from a friendly family debate, based on a true story. And proof, that I win every debate that I enter. This is not meant to affend anyone, and is only the thinking of one person, but worth a read.


The Great Metric System Debate
==============================


ME = My Brother. And Her = My Neice




HER: Dad, I need money for a haircut


ME: Why do you need a haircut?


HER: I need to take a few centimeters off the back


ME: Centimeters? - Who the hell is teaching you to use centimeters to measure your hair. Liberal teachers are infiltrating and taking over our entire education system.


HER: Dad, centimeters are small, and I just need a LITTLE off


ME: You mean 1/2 Inch


HER: No - a few centimeters


ME: Yeah - try asking your stylist to take off a few centimeters, and she will look at you like you are a crazy French woman


HER: What are you talking about


ME: The French - they invented the flawed way of measuring things now known as the "Metric System"


HER: Everyone uses the metric system, except for us... Maybe we are the ones with the flawed system


ME: WHAT! - Nothing American is flawed, including our system of measurement, plus, we aren't the only ones, I am pretty sure Liberia uses our system.


HER: Liberia


ME: That's right, Liberia. Don't you see, our system is far superior. Who knows what a centimeter, or meter or kilometer actually is? - I sure don't. But I do know what an inch is, a foot, a yard and a mile. All of them perfect. 12 inches in a foot, 3 feet in a yard, 5280 feet in a mile. It all makes perfect sense. And we can get small too... half-inch, quarter-inch, eighth-inch, sixteenth-inch - you see, never ending, and easy to remember. Don't even get me started on Rods, Fathom's and Leagues.


HER: Metric system everything is divided by 10's


ME: Dumb right?


HER: umm...no...much easier


ME: See what I am saying? - "Easy" equals "Lazy" equals a well thought out plan by the French to take over the world and make us all have 35 hour work weeks and 28 paid holidays a year.


HER: Sounds good to me


ME: And furthermore, the Metric system is based on an incorrect measurement of the circumference of the earth...The guy that tried to figure it out, screwed up, but was afraid to tell the king of France. So now, the entire Metric system is based on an incorrect measurement. Imagine if we started using it, everything that we measure would be WRONG!! We'd have crooked houses, and leaning buildings - thank God for Feet and Inches


HER: Are you kidding me...really?....Does it matter how it was made? - no....The "Foot" was based on the length of some King's ACTUAL foot, how flawed do you think that was?


ME: I am sure he was an excellent king, with a foot, that was EXACTLY 12 inches long. See, everything fits.


HER: Oh my God


ME: Do you really want the French to take over? - Look what they did to Quebec


HER: The French are not going to take over


ME: To prove my point, do you know how many Kilometers is it from Bismarck, ND to Eugene, Oregon?


HER: I have no idea


ME: Exactly, nobody knows kilometers, because in America, we use Miles


HER: Ok then, do you even know how many "Miles" it is to Eugene, Oregen?


ME: Of course I do.


HER: Obviously you don't


ME: Ok - Fine, I have 2 words for you: "Mars Polar Lander"


HER: What...


ME: "Mars Polar Lander"


HER: That's 3 words


ME: Maybe so, but those 3 words represent a spaceship, that CRASHED into the surface of mars, instead of gently "LANDING" - Do you know why?


HER: Please tell me


ME: The Metric System


HER: Dad...Shut up


ME: It's true, some idiot put into the computer measurements in Meters instead of Feet....And what happened? - It Crashed. If not for the Metric system, the Mars Polar Lander, would have actually landed, but no, the French sent us the "Mars Polar Crasher" instead


HER: Or, maybe, just maybe, the French had NOTHING to do with the crash, AND if we started using the Metric System LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, this would have never happened.


ME: Ok smarty pants, do YOU know how many Meters it is from Mars Orbit to the surface of Mars? - I don't think so.


HER: When you argue with me, you just make stuff up to support an opinion that you obviously know is wrong but you are afraid to admit. Dad, just admit it, I'm right, you're wrong, Metric system is better.


ME: Not according to the NFL I'm not


HER: I don't care


ME: Yeah, well, Tony Dorsett sure cares. He still holds the longest Rushing Touchdown record at 99 yards. Are you telling me that you want Tony Dorsett to be stripped of his record in the Record Books? Or worse, have his record written as "90.5256 Meters" - Doesn't really roll off the tongue now does it?? Not only that, but what would you have the Indy 500 renamed to? - "The Indy 804.672"? - I am sure drivers and spectators would flock from Miles (er. Kilometers) around to witness the Historical Tradition of the Annual Indy 804.672.


HER: I'm not arguing with you anymore


ME: Because I am winning?


HER: Because I Won, a looong-time-ago


ME: Communists use the Metric system you know. Apparently that is what you want for us, to live under the harsh oppressive rule of a communist dictatorship. How many square METERS of land do you own? - NONE - because the government owns it and has stripped you of your private property, and convinced you that they know best leaving you a sad and dependent soul who knows not the joy of owning your own 10 acre parcel of land. Thank you honey, for ruining our country and everything we believe in.


...


HER: Dad?


ME: Yeah


HER: I still need a haircut


ME: Why


HER: I need to take a 1/2 inch off the back.

 

[Maryak]

Reminds me of when my daughter was a teenager. ;D

Bloody Brilliant. :bow: :bow:

Best Regards
Bob

 

[tel]

;D ;D ;D ;D

 

[SAM in LA]

Kel,

Great story.

It sounds like a Carol Burnet/Tim Conway skit.

Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof}

SAM

 

[mu38&Bg#]

This reminds me of trying to communicate with my mother-in-law. "Facts" made up on the spot to win her point of view.

I think the point is that cutting 1/2" of hair is too expensive I have some shears in the shop....

 

[itowbig]

Rof} ha ha that sound exactly like me and my daughter Rof} that was great thanks

 

[mklotz]

This would be funny were it not for the fact that many Americans actually believe these specious "arguments" against the metric system.

 

[mhh]

Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof} Rof}

It is SO nice to see that the american youth is on the right track!

 

[Deanofid]

This would be funny were it not for the fact that many Americans actually believe these specious "arguments" against the metric system.

What "specious arguments"? I mean, if your not smart enough to find a common denominator, yeah, go ahead and use the "I-can-only-divide-by-ten" system.
You know?

;D

Dean
5/8 + 5/8 = 10/8
It's easy!

 

[mklotz]

So, Dean, you use a micrometer calibrated in 1/128 ths of an inch?

 

[Dan Rowe]

I have several vernier calipers that are calibrated in 1/128....I do not find them very handy and use the lower metric scale.

Dan

 

[Deanofid]

So, Dean, you use a micrometer calibrated in 1/128 ths of an inch?

Naw. For the kind of work I do, don't need much better than sixteenths!
No sense going overboard.

 

[tel]

5/8 + 5/8 = 10/8
It's easy!

OK - 5/8 + 5/8 + 11/32 + 27/64 + 1/2 + 11/16 + 31/64??

 

[Maryak]

OK - 5/8 + 5/8 + 11/32 + 27/64 + 1/2 + 11/16 + 31/64??

= 236/64 = 3 11/16 ??? or 93.66233775

 

[Deanofid]

There, see? Bob is fully qualified!
(for fractions. I dunno if the that last silly bit is correct.)

 

[kf2qd]

Hey man - Metric is great - IF you grew up your whole life using it. Otherwise it is a royal pain in the.. whatever. I understand metric, but it is just too much bother to convert to a system that I have never had to use and in reallity offers no real benefits. One can measure just as accurately in either system. It is also easier to divide thins in half, as we do for all the franctions - 1/2, 1/4, 1/8, 1/16, 1/32, 1/64 than it will ever be to divide things by 10. (Fold this paper into 10 equal parts...)

And we all know that the "standard meter" myth (that is is some portion of the distance from the north pole to the equator) was just an attempt by the French to try to justify a system that was really based on dividing the inch into 25.4 sections because they screwed up and failed to divide the inch in 25 segments. Then the Milimeter and the Meter would both have made sense.(25 millimeters to the inch and 40 inches to the meter) But because some Frenchman used some poorly made (Non-Starret, non-Mitutoyo) tools to measure out his NON-INCH millimeter those who use the millimeter have to put up with odd dimensions. And it is interresting that they try to this day to blame it all on the Americans when it was really just the result of some tizzy between the British and French going back who knows how far. The British have made a feeble attempt to placate the French (the british are europeans after all...) but what with stones and other silly units of measure they have still managed to stick it to the French. So the last bastion of sense and reason is the U. S. of A. who still have enough brass to uphold the noble, sensible and reasonable INCH, FOOT, and YARD as the only proper units of measure.

 

[tel]

= 236/64 = 3 11/16 ??? or 93.66233775

;D Now try doing it in yer head while running a machine!

 

[Maryak]

;D Now try doing it in yer head while running a machine!

Yeah right

For me the bottom line is fps "feels right" metric is probably the same for those raised on it. e.g. I know when I look at a piece of round bar I think aha 3/8." A metric guy would think aha 10 mm, we both go on our way at peace with the world.

Best Regards
Bob

 

[kcmillin]

For me the bottom line is fps "feels right" metric is probably the same for those raised on it. e.g. I know when I look at a piece of round bar I think aha 3/8." A metric guy would think aha 10 mm, we both go on our way at peace with the world.

Best Regards
Bob

In all reality your completely right. There is no such thing as the better way. Just how you see it in your head. A measurement is not exactly real. For example. If you make a connecting rod that measures 3 inches (or whatever) you could easily just say it is 1 "connecting rod" long, you would not be wrong. The use of a standardized system is only to make it easy to communicate measurements. My personal "go to" system is English, but If I had a choice on which one I understood best, it would be metric.

Kel

 

[mu38&Bg#]

When I was at NAMES there was a vendor selling digital calipers. They read mm, inch, and fractional inch. I've probably bumped into them before on ebay , but never paid attention.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000UCIGCW/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20

My old vernier scale caliper is wearing me down. I just might have to buy a decent dial or digital.