Idiot Sightings

[Foozer]

Was telling the Bride some of these, commenting on what chuckerheads are out there. she said i do not need to read about them, just go look in the mirror.

Robert

 

[Cedge]

I won't forget the day I handed the young girl at McDonalds a 2 dollar bill. (Not a widely circulated US monetary denomination and something of a novelty to most people) She refused to take it. She called her manager, who threatened to call the police on me for trying to pass counterfeit money. I suggested she do so and a Sheriff's deputy quickly arrived. She launched into a tirade about low life crooks passing bogus money. The cop then walked her outside and quietly suggested that she take my perfectly legal tender and maybe offer up a few free meals to keep me quiet. The look on her face was beyond priceless.... and those free burgers weren't bad either.

Steve

 

[MachineTom]

I've got another one to share. A few years ago I needed an MRI on my foot. Always I tell the office of my condition when making the appointment. An MRI is a large electro magnet with beams that yield a picture of the target after the computers do their thing.

So there I sit in my powered wheelchair, first question, can you walk? one look at the questioner and he knew the answer, then it begins 3 operators argue about how to get me in the room. Me, pointing out that the chair is AL not steel, AL being non-magnetic, small amount of steel in the gearboxes, isn't the magnet only on while the machine is operating? Deaf ears all. After 10+ minutes a supervisor shows up, says run the chair into the room.

With directions these health care professionals place this rag doll body of mine on the table of the MRI. After blocking the foot with foam pieces, the supervisor asks can you turn your foot a bit to the left? No I can't, Why not she asks...

Thank goodness these folks are trained professionals, imagine if they hired just anyone off the street.

 

[Tin Falcon]

I do a lot of day travel for work. we are not provided gps. sometime out plans and next designation s change.
so one day I am at a post office. and have to get to another one some 40 or so miles away. The supervisor offers to print out a map from an online search, map quest or the like. I graciously accept the offer . if it is not any trouble . Well after 20 minutes of futzing on the computer she gives up and I am still on my own for directions. The Peter principle in action maybe?
ya just have to wonder.
Tin

 

[Stan]

Years ago I went to the grocery store to get ten pounds of sugar. I arrived at the cashier with two five pound bags and asked why a ten pound bag cost more than two five pound bags. She had a very logical answer. It is because you get a bigger bag.

 

[Dave G]

I live a short distance from a small village that has a large pond in the center of it. This pond is fed by warm springs and by a creek known as Cold Creek. This pond has only frozen once in the last 50 years during winter. This was 1976-1977, a very cold winter. The creek is known as the stream that never freezes and has a sign posted stating this. The long standing joke for our local idiots is that you don't need antifreeze in your car, just go down to Cold Creek and get some water out of it, that water never freezes. Don't know how many engine blocks have busted but it's been a joke around here since there have cars. Dave

 

[tel]

Reminds me of the old ad - Rheem Hot Water Never Runs Cold! ;D

 

[lathe nut]

for one of the Hurricanes here in SW Louisiana I had my Generator hook up and ready, well I was excited to find out from my wife that come out side that the power was off, I told her go in the house and I will start the generator, mind that it is an Onan, 37.7 KW, six cylinder engine, noise yes, I started the generator and then to the transfer switch, flipped the switch I was no distance from the house when she come running out trying to scream of the generator, You can shut the generator down we have power now, we have been married 40 years and looks like it not she is not going to get any smarter but there is hope, Lathe Nut

 

[Bernd]

Reminds me of the old ad - Rheem Hot Water Never Runs Cold! ;D

I love conversations with people who talk about "hot water heaters". I always ask, "Why do you want to heat hot water". The stupid look on their face as they try to answer that is precious.

 

[rake60]

OK, True Story....

An elderly couple who were regular "All Nighter's" at a local pub were there at 1:00 AM
when the power went out. At 1:30 AM the bar tender announced the bar was closing
early.

Next morning he goes to open the bar at 10:00 AM.
The old couples car is still in the parking lot. He finds both of them laying motionless
in on the seats. When he opens the car door to check on them they both wake up
startled.

Direct quotes:

"What happened, wouldn't your car start?"

"Didn't even try. Bad enough to drive home drunk, but with the power out it would have
crazy to drive home drunk with no lights."

 

[Twmaster]

One thing I have learned over the years.... Any story that begins with.. "Ok, True Story...."

 

[Ken I]

Security at one of my customers always check my trunk on leaving.

On one occasion the power went out so I left - security asked "can you please open your boot sir ?"

"Sorry its electrically operated and I can't do it with the power out."

He waved me through without blinking.

 

[rudydubya]

I love conversations with people who talk about "hot water heaters". I always ask, "Why do you want to heat hot water". The stupid look on their face as they try to answer that is precious.

I think it's a local cultural thing. Today's hardware store ad in the local newspaper, same as it has been for years. People around here might not buy a plain old water heater. It's just the way they are.

 

[Bernd]

I'd go to the hardware store and ask "Where are the cold water heater tanks, I see you only have hot water heater's back there".

Bernd

 

[milotrain]

I think it's a local cultural thing. Today's hardware store ad in the local newspaper, same as it has been for years. People around here might not buy a plain old water heater. It's just the way they are.

Actually it's not totally incorrect to say hot water heater. There are two ways you could justify it.

1. The "Nothing is cold argument."
Cold can be defined as a lack of heat, and true "COLD" is 0 Kelvin which doesn't exist as far as we know due to the laws of thermodynamics. So all water, no matter how cold is actually hot.

2. The "Constant energy exchange argument."
The second law of thermodynamics says that all systems that interact will eventually reach equalibrium, any hot water is constantly in a state of cooling and thus a water heater must always be in some step of it's "heating cycle" even if that state is off. Therefore a water heater is always "working" because the water is always cooling.

You have to constantly heat hot water or it will get cold.