Funny

[georgeseal]

Just got this E-Mail this morning
I think it applys to a lot of us here

MEN'S HELPLINE....A letter to the Men's Helpline:

Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem:

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that i noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.

Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?

George from Conyers Ga.

 

[Bernd]

Kind of a moral in that one George. Thm:

By the way, the gears you sent me are still working away in my Grizzly mini-mill. Thanks again.

Bernd

 

[Maryak]

Banned from Sainsbury's

Didn't like shopping there anyway Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's behind and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

 

[steamer]

Rof} Rof} Rof}


OK ...thanks for making me squirt coffee out my nose....You salt brined Son of a .....I think I hurt myself!

Now I got to get a towel!

;D :big: :big: :big: