# rude people



## artrans (Jan 6, 2009)

In my opinion it needs to stop it has happened to me a few times and I have seen it happen to others. And like all good thing it puts a damper on things. So there should be a policy that anyone insults someone or bitchs or is rude gets banned for 30 days. Other sites do it unless it was a miss understanding and the person say they sorry. Ic an not believe or understand why this happens and never will.


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## Brian Rupnow (Jan 6, 2009)

Artrans--Don't sweat it. We all get rude by times, and sometimes we post something that is intended as a funny, but it comes off rude. The moderators keep a watchfull eye on this board, and if someone blatantly attacks another board member, it gets jumped on quickly. I know that I have anoyed some people, some of the time---however as long as there are more people enjoying my posts than being anoyed by them, I'll stick around.---Brian ;D ;D


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## BobWarfield (Jan 6, 2009)

I think automatic policies are kind of rude themselves. I trust in our moderators, and we've seen some examples where they read the riot act to folks who were good contributors but who were too rude. The system works. That doesn't mean nobody will ever be rude to you, but it does mean that someone who is frequently rude to people will get a warning and that it will get cleared up.

Best,

BW


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## georgeseal (Jan 6, 2009)

One other thing that some may not realize is that some off us are personal friends and say sarcastic things that are meant for that person only. We PM ,call, visit each other. Someone reading a post may take it personnaly when it was not intended for them.


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## Cedge (Jan 6, 2009)

Gotta agree with George. If anyone takes the fun poking that he, myself and a few others of us do among the ranks of friends anything close to seriously, it would be a huge mistake. Bogster and I were seldom serious about things because it kept them light and the wolves at bay.

There are going to be misinterpretations among members for the simple fact that this mode of communication is in the blind. You can't see a face and read the emotions it holds nor the tone of a voice.. A quick off the cuff response, meant to be slightly sarcastic can come across as angry or even vindictive. It's always been the draw back to written communication.

I'm as guilty of the smart ass responses as anyone and I've had make a few apologies for when events went a bit pear shaped. I'll have to do it in the future a well, but I'm not above it when it is due. I'm also not above standing ground when the words were meant to convey honest anger. if the difference isn't clear, then it's probaly a good time to ask. The PM system on the board works fine.

Steve


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## Kludge (Jan 7, 2009)

I wrote somewhere that if I can't take as I dish out then I'm in the wrong place. This is true, I think, of everyone here but - and this is a huge "but" - it's rarely if ever mean spirited. Some people here have known each other since Noah was a cabin boy, either on-line or in person - or both. Some, like myself, have only recently arrived but the welcome was/is such that I feel that I've known these folks all my life. 

Sometimes, if something seems rude or uncalled for, drop back and reread it, not only in context but also regarding the people involved. Then if you feel as though you have been offended, send the person an IM asking for clarification. The one time I felt I was insulted, the misunderstanding was cleared up out of public eyes. "Praise in public, criticize in private" is a wonderful policy, especially in an environment like this.

One other thing, if it's from me ... just consider that i am _certified_ (as opposed to merely certifiable) insane and have the VA documentation to prove it. I also have a sense of humor that ranges from off the wall to well & truly wacked out, so if I say anything that seems insulting, those two elements might be taken into consideration since being hurtful isn't my style. 

BEst regards,

Da Ol' KludgeMeister Hisself


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## DickDastardly40 (Jan 7, 2009)

I don't always get to read every thread however the ones I do read always seem to be respectful and polite. I agree there is seldom need for any adverse comments anywhere. 

I have always had erudite and helpful feedback to every question I have posed and suggestion I have made.


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## tel (Jan 7, 2009)

Persistent or serial rudeness usually reaps it's own reward, and that sooner rather than later. Given that, and the sterling efforts of I our moderators, I see little need for muh change.

Now, if only youse was all perfect, like me ......... ;D


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## ChooChooMike (Jan 7, 2009)

tel  said:
			
		

> Persistent or serial rudeness usually reaps it's own reward, and that sooner rather than later. Given that, and the sterling efforts of I our moderators, I see little need for muh change.



Persistent and serial KINDNESS always reaps rewards !! ;D This site is a great example of that !!

The old cliche and its variants : _*You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar !*_


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## Kludge (Jan 7, 2009)

ChooChooMike  said:
			
		

> The old cliche and its variants : _*You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar !*_



Which always brings up the question of why one would want to catch flies? ;D

Tel, if we were all perfect, it just wouldn't be fun anymore. 

Anyway, everyone here is driven by one purpose, that being to find the question the answer of which is 42. Or something. 

Best regards,

Kludge


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## ChooChooMike (Jan 7, 2009)

Kludge  said:
			
		

> Which always brings up the question of why one would want to catch flies? ;D


I was waiting for that :big:  :



> Anyway, everyone here is driven by one purpose, that being to find the question the answer of which is 42. Or something.



Now that you've given the answer, the question is of course, *What is your quest ?*
ooopppps, wrong movie ... (a nod to Monty Python's Holy Grail .... )

Mike


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## rleete (Jan 7, 2009)

Kludge  said:
			
		

> Which always brings up the question of why one would want to catch flies?



You melt them down to cast flywheels! 


Okay, you're not the only one with strange sense of humor.


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## ChooChooMike (Jan 7, 2009)

rleete  said:
			
		

> You melt them down to cast flywheels!
> 
> Okay, you're not the only one with strange sense of humor.



There's no hope for terminal pun-sters ...... I regularly take doses of my own medicine to no avail, it just keeps getting worse .... <sigh> :


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## mklotz (Jan 7, 2009)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana....Groucho Marx


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## ChooChooMike (Jan 7, 2009)

Time flies when you're having fun.

Time's fun when you're having flies.

~ Kermit the Frog


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## Lew Hartswick (Jan 7, 2009)

rleete  said:
			
		

> You melt them down to cast flywheels!
> 
> 
> Okay, you're not the only one with strange sense of humor.


You know I didn't get that untill I read the followup. 
I guess I'm a little dense.
  ...lew...


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## jack404 (Jan 7, 2009)

Folks 

from what i have seen this place is pretty self regulating

someone goes a bit too far and the rest ( moral mojority) are pretty quick to let em know thatt line has been crossed

i am very aware that some of the terminology folks use can raise eye brows ( us Aussies end up with foot in mouth often when talking to you US folks)

The mods do a great job and do sort things so my 2 bob's worth is 

this is a guest environment we are all GUESTS here so behaviour should be along those lines

you would not go to your friends house then start smashing the place up 

you'd be less one friend and maybe some teeth.. 

same here,

so 

lets all chop in to our joint hobby/past time/ interest / what ever you call it

help each other out where we can 

understand things as best we can 

have patience with one another ( especially the slow bloke from down under )

and be polite , ( In real life i really have to watch my words a lot around ladies, kids etc.. too long in the bush and army and cussing became second nature and am now paying for it )

if we all do our best then everything is great
if we let it go to hell through lack of caring 

well look at the rest of the world where folks only thought about thier own profits/ gains recently and see the results of that approach

i think this place is ok

Thanks to the Admins and the majority of members..

we all stuff up too ( i know i do) lets keep that im mind

lets not hang folks who do make a BOO BOO

education is far better 

anyway enough waffle from me 

i'm going back to all the filing machine posts that have popped up the last week or so

cheers

jack


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## ChooChooMike (Jan 7, 2009)

rleete  said:
			
		

> You melt them down to cast flywheels!



That's called flycasting ! :big: :big:

<ba-dum, crash>

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night .....


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## rake60 (Jan 8, 2009)

I appreciate all of the positive comments here.
I had hoped to make HMEM a more positive forum.
In it's very early days this *NOTICE* was posted.

Our Moderators and Administrators have done a very good job of keeping 
my ideals and hopes for HMEM alive and in line. Their efforts are greatly 
appreciated! It has become a self regulating community to a large point.
I have seen several cases where things were beginning to get a little 
rough and the membership's postings calmed things down on their own.
That is what a civil community should be!

Thanks to every one of you for making this the community it has become.

Rick


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## Divided He ad (Jan 9, 2009)

I've been reading quite a few of the 'issue' posts myself.... I read some from a few months ago before they were deleted... these were my main reason for being quiet for so long....(yer I know, you didn't notice!) It just wasn't the forum I became a member of, so I kinda went elsewhere for a while, still there.


Now I started to post a few things again recently and saw some odd stuff posted, some bad jokes and others reasonable observations put a bit heavily into text.... But nothing really bad... Not for most adult men to rise above and even knock back over the net!

I must admit I don't like it when people fill someones thread with conversations about better work...Just think about it, you wouldn't like it if you had spent 5,6,7 and often more hours making a part just to be told that it's not as good as one someone else made! 

I've possibly done something close to it in the past not thinking about it properly and not realising it has done any harm....I'm very sorry if I have. But I'm usually mindful only to try and link to helpful stuff. (if I offend in the future I would hope it is pointed out to me, so that retractions and apologies can be issued) 

When I think about it... I think I try quite hard not to put something, be it a link, a picture or a bit of text into a build that I think will not only cause offense but could stop that person from finishing their build because *I* made them feel that 'this is better and yours is no good' 

I think if most people tried to think a little before they typed.... or even just read through what they type before posting it, then much of this "rudeness" could be avoided.


I'm not trying to get at anyone in particular here... just trying to help people see what their actions might do.... Stop people building and having fun with their hobby. 

We are all meant to be having fun!!! Newbies (as they are affectionately known) as well as seasoned engineers need encouragement and help, not "well this ones better than that so do it better" attitudes 

Everyone responds well to praise... EVERYONE! and a little bit of altered phrasing can make all the difference between offence and help.



My examples.....

Here's one that's the best ever made.... Not so nice to read in your build post!

Look at this one it's really well made, perhaps it could give you some ideas? .... much nicer and still showing the same thing!


The second one might just help the builder with their work? The first would just about depress me and keep me from finishing my project!



It's all about your attitude toward others..... 

I'm no guru... I've no doubt upset some people in my time? 

But I just think people need to think and read through what they post.


Think people, please just think.



My soap box is now starting to crack under my heavy a$$ .... That's my 2 pence worth.





Ralph.


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## Cedge (Jan 9, 2009)

Ralph....
Told ya that box made your A$$ look big. :

Steve


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## Peter Neill (Jan 10, 2009)

Ralph is quite right, and in this particular case I was guilty of hijacking Brass Machines ball turner thread.

I had already apologised to Eric for this in a PM 2 days ago, and have since deleted my posts in that particular thread to try and focus the attention back on his build, rather than mine. However, in mitigation, I though it might be relevant information in response to a link posted just before mine, so it wasn't really an intentional willy-waving self-glorification post.

I think this is where the problem lies, in deciding whether the additional information posted could prove useful to the OPs subject matter or not. 
With hindsight, more use of the PM system would perhaps have been appropriate in this case, and perhaps for some others.

Peter


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## shred (Jan 10, 2009)

Peter Neill  said:
			
		

> Ralph is quite right, and in this particular case I was guilty of hijacking Brass Machines ball turner thread.
> 
> I had already apologised to Eric for this in a PM 2 days ago, and have since deleted my posts in that particular thread to try and focus the attention back on his build, rather than mine. However, in mitigation, I though it might be relevant information in response to a link posted just before mine, so it wasn't really an intentional willy-waving self-glorification post.
> 
> ...


It's a fine line, but for posterity (or even just the lurkers), I think it's better to not-have useful info hidden away in PMs. I know being a moderator is already a heap of work as I'm one on other forums, but perhaps they could get more militant about splitting off errant posts into other threads while we, the users, promise not to complain too much about it.  That can also be tricky to manage since sometimes half a post is relevant and the other half isn't..

So, using the ball-turner example, you'd have the 'Mother of All Ball-Turner' (MOAB) threads where general ball-turner posts and 'here's one picture of the one I made' go, then other threads, linked from the main one on "My Ball Turner build" "Brian's Ball Turner (now with CAD!)" "Fred's Oblate Spheriod Machine', wherin posts specific to those projects themselves would go.

Thoughts? Worth it?


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## Divided He ad (Jan 10, 2009)

Steve, 

We can always rely on you to find all the truly relevant information from any post  :  


Peter, 

I've sent you a little explainatory PM (sorry Shred).... There was no intent to cause offense or point fingers in your direction, I was trying to help people see the different ways of posting so as not to cause offence to the builder of the main topic. Anyway, I hope the PM is clear? 



Shred, 

I am still of the opinion that the issue lies in the presentation of the posts and the way they can be read/misread.

I understand your thoughts on making all relevant subjects sit together... But I think it a mammoth task for a site of this size? 

I think it would be a good thing to be able to request an errant post be moved? That way the topic owner (starter) if unhappy could ask for action to be taken.... I suspect that this option is already out there though?


All Just IMHO.


I'm sure others will have plenty to say on this subject? 


I'm quite happy to carry on as is... just wanted to try to get people thinking about the others they interact with  



Ralph.


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## itowbig (Jan 10, 2009)

me im pretty happy here i think you blokes are a great bunch.
 i just love reading and learning from all of you.
i have been to some forums that are truly rude but i dont really see that here.


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## Paula (Jan 10, 2009)

A couple of observations from my perspective...

1) It bears mentioning that the problem is not always _giving_ offense, but also _taking_ it. As rich and wonderful a medium of communication as the internet is, it is still very easy to misinterpret someone's intent. We should not automatically assume that something we take as offensive was intended that way. A generous measure of leeway is called for.

2) To the moderators: Whatever you are doing, KEEP IT UP. Not only is this a well-behaved forum, it's one of the only _*ACTIVE*_ model engineering forums I know of. Others go days, or even _weeks_ without a single post!

Paula


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## Peter Neill (Jan 10, 2009)

Ralph, no problem at all, no offense was taken. 
Replied to the PM and basically agreed that the gentle nudge regarding OP's post was correct, and perhaps a good reminder for us all.
Regards

Peter


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## shred (Jan 10, 2009)

Divided He ad  said:
			
		

> Shred,
> 
> I am still of the opinion that the issue lies in the presentation of the posts and the way they can be read/misread.
> 
> I understand your thoughts on making all relevant subjects sit together... But I think it a mammoth task for a site of this size?


Well, there's both offense and off-topic, but it's pretty easy to do with the forum software I've used-- select the off-topic or otherwise to-be-moved posts, and hit 'move to new topic' in the moderator menu. Think up a catchy title for the new thread like "General Cube-Turning Posts (split from Joe's Garden Weasel thread)" and hit 'go'. If there's already an appropriate thread, there's a 'merge with existing thread' option.


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## ChooChooMike (Jan 10, 2009)

Paula  said:
			
		

> A couple of observations from my perspective...
> 
> 2) To the moderators: Whatever you are doing, KEEP IT UP. Not only is this a well-behaved forum, it's one of the only _*ACTIVE*_ model engineering forums I know of. Others go days, or even _weeks_ without a single post!
> 
> Paula



I totally agree !! Since I joined over a year ago, I've seen a marked increase in the number of members and in the number of daily posts !!

Kudos to the site owners/mods for keeping this place fairly civil and growing ! You're doing something right :bow:

Mike


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## artrans (Jan 10, 2009)

Well even if its a Miss understanding of how the thread reads or how it is interpted there is and should be no reason for anyone to be rude.
A good example is the ball making thread they are digs about it being over done. Why, stop right now and ask why its one of many threads if the ball thing piss's you off don't follow the thread if no one follows it or responses to it what happens it dies. I am 47 years old and I understand you can never make everyone happy but again think about how you would feel if something you post for the good of it and someone rips it apart you would not feel that good well think how the next guy feels. So my last word on the subject if you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything.


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## Brass_Machine (Jan 10, 2009)

Artrans,

One of things that may have been missed... In MY ballturner build thread you stuck a link of a turner that to quote you:



> this is one of the nicest I have ever seen look at this one



What does that have to do with my build? It's kinda like you talking about something you are doing and for me to point one out that, IMHO is better than yours. For instance, "that transmission shop down the road from you is the best I have ever seen, have you seen it?"

To quote you again:



> think about how you would feel if something you post for the good of it and someone rips it apart you would not feel that good



That is what you did in my post.

End of topic

Eric


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## ghart3 (Jan 10, 2009)

rleete  said:
			
		

> You melt them down to cast flywheels!
> 
> Okay, you're not the only one with strange sense of humor.



He He, grin, made my day.  Thanks, now I know all about flywheels.
gary


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## artrans (Jan 10, 2009)

I get your point brass But I did not mean for that to be taken like that and i am sorry. I was answering the thread which was another ball turner so i was showing another ball turner and not to take away from yours but true thats a great example of a misunderstnding, again I would never try and rain on anyones work again i am sorry and can see how things can be taken out of context like your showing here. I stand corrected and will shout up on the subject. ps I had the same thing happen to me I drew a governor in cadstd which I was trilled with when reetl says look at this and shows work he did in solid works in about 2 min I toke it heart and he said sorry he did not mean to say mine was not as good which it was not any but he was just showing a example i guess its a duff call at times


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## malcolmt (Jan 10, 2009)

Hi Folks
Hopefully everyone concerned with these misunderstandings have come to an understanding now, It certainly seems that way :bow:

Perhaps all concerned could all agree to draw a line under it at this point and close the book on this one.
We all have misunderstandings and different views, i think everyone has a bad day (I'm giving up smoking just now so my girlfriend has first hand experience).
I know behind the scenes the moderators will have been having their calming influence and sage advice heard for which we all thank them even when it is unseen to most of us. :bow: :bow: :bow:
Lets get back to the happy band of kindhearted banter we are so used to.
All said with respect.

Kind regards

Malcolm


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## tel (Jan 11, 2009)

In closing ....

*I thought the Rue D' Remarks was a street in Paris! * ;D


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## Metal Mickey (Jan 11, 2009)

I just love everybody! ;D


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