# Things one should never say



## JorgensenSteam (Jan 24, 2011)

One of the comments on a post today got me going about things you should never say.


"Honest Ossifer, I haven't touched a drop all night".


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## GailInNM (Jan 24, 2011)

It's close enough to work fine, but I'll just dust off that last 0.0002 and it will be perfect.
Gail in NM


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## mklotz (Jan 24, 2011)

It's a bit dull, but I can get one more hole out of this tap.


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## Deanofid (Jan 24, 2011)

I just made a half dozen of these things. I don't need to refer to the print _again_...


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## zeeprogrammer (Jan 24, 2011)

No problem.


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## Royal Viking (Jan 24, 2011)

Piece of cake.


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## Twmaster (Jan 24, 2011)

Here, lemme show ya....


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## GailInNM (Jan 24, 2011)

I just want to finish this part and shut down the shop. I'll be there in 5 minutes.


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## Troutsqueezer (Jan 24, 2011)

I'll just give it a quick buffing on the wheel and call it done.


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## Foozer (Jan 24, 2011)

No Dear!


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## MikeR C (Jan 24, 2011)

Yeah, those pants do make you look fat...


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## Metal Butcher (Jan 24, 2011)

Are you trying to piss me of? Or are you just plain stupid!

(great line to use in biker bars)


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## DOC123 (Jan 24, 2011)

wife: What on the TV tonight?


husband: Dust


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## steamer (Jan 24, 2011)

Something I taught my kids 

if someone says:  Hey, Watch this!


Take 3 steps back.


Dave


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## Maryak (Jan 25, 2011)

How are you this morning........Did you have a good night's sleep ???


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## lugnut (Jan 25, 2011)

Hey! hold my beer and watch this!


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## wareagle (Jan 25, 2011)

Officer, the reason I was swerving back there was I couldn't decide which line to follow. I am drunk and seeing double.


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## Ken I (Jan 25, 2011)

Of course I know what I'm doing !

Ken

My personal masterpiece of hubris "You've got to be really unlucky to roll a car on a racetrack" -about 5 seconds before my son did just that WITH MY CAR !


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## Mainer (Jan 25, 2011)

I've heard it as, "Here -- hold my beer. Watch this!"


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## lathe nut (Jan 26, 2011)

got a younger friend of mine asked me the other day about some advise about wife questions, he said wife asked him "Am I fat" he said she is and was not sure how to answer her, I said simple son, just say to her if you were seven feet tall you would not be fat well the next time I saw the young man, he said no more advise from me, he must not have said it in the right tone of voice, I was just trying to help, Lathe Nut


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## 90LX_Notch (Jan 26, 2011)

"That should be tight enough."


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## BAH101 (Jan 26, 2011)

Your eyes look a little glazed too, officer, have you been into the donuts again?


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## Royal Viking (Mar 5, 2011)

"I'm coming right to bed. I just want to check out this web site..."


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## hopeless (Mar 5, 2011)

scary thing is I have said most of those things .............just lucky I guess :big: :bow:
Pete


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## rake60 (Mar 5, 2011)

*"Hold my beer, I'll show you how to do that."*

No no no..... LOL

Rick


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## Troutsqueezer (Mar 5, 2011)

Just ignore it  I hear some pilots never turn off that buckle up sign.


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## Cedge (Mar 5, 2011)

Hell officer... I couldn't walk that line sober

Steve


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## Ken I (Mar 6, 2011)

"That noise in the engine ? Don't worry about it, it will probably go away."

Ken


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## steamer (Mar 6, 2011)

But Officer, I thought you wanted to pass me....


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## DaveH (Mar 7, 2011)

If you are a dentist working on a patient,

_*Whoooops*_


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## MachineTom (Mar 7, 2011)

"No problem, I've done this lots of times before"


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## BillC (Mar 7, 2011)

When the officer asks if you have any ID; don't say: 'bout what?


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## nfk (Mar 7, 2011)

A system administrator at work: This change is straightforward...


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## Seanol (Mar 8, 2011)

Don't worry, that engine will loosen right up.... :


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## Foozer (Mar 8, 2011)

No Honey It ain't loaded


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