# I want to give you all some advice.



## websterz (Mar 3, 2010)

Those of you who are fortunate enough to have a mentor, be it a father, grandfather, uncle, whatever, do not take them for granted. My father has worked with his hands his whole life, a self taught welder and machinist with skills that rival anyone I have ever met. He will turn 74 this July and up until last Saturday was healthy as an ox. He had a mild stroke (thank God for the mild bit!) and was just released from hospital yesterday. Physically he is still strong but his language center was damaged, a condition known as aphasia. He is recovering at home now and with the help of speech therapy he is recovering his words but it will take time. We have all struggled to find the right word or remember a name that is just on the tip of the tongue, and know how frustrating those little fumbles can be. Imagine having that feeling several times in one sentence, or not being able to come up with your wife's name. My folks have been married 50 years this month and my dad knows my mom and remembers the most minute details about their life but he cannot pull her name out of the damaged area of his brain. Even after being told, and repeating it over and over if you ask him he cannot come up with it. I followed in his footsteps as a welder for 20 years, then in the last 15 or so as a machinist. He has always been a wealth of information and I learned nearly everything I know about everything from being a father to changing a flat tire to running a lathe from him. Even though he still has all that knowledge his ability to share it might have been lost now, and I feel so lucky to have asked the questions I had the chance to ask. 90% of the tools and materials in my own shop came from him when he finally retired about 5 years ago. I don't know how many more years I will have my dad but I will treasure every minute. 

Ask, watch, and learn while you can. You never know how long you have.


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## 90LX_Notch (Mar 3, 2010)

websterz,

I wish your father further recovery.

Bob


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## zeeprogrammer (Mar 3, 2010)

Best wishes Websterz.


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## Seanol (Mar 3, 2010)

Websterz,

My family has you in our heart.
Good luck with your fathers recovery.

He has many years left in the shop I'll bet!

Sean


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## BigBore (Mar 3, 2010)

Your eloquently stated advise is taken to heart and humbly accepted and appreciated. Thank you. The best to you both.

Ed


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## steamer (Mar 3, 2010)

Websterz,

A wish of condolence and best wishes on a speedy recovery of your Dad.

I echo your sentiment, my Dad passed not that long ago after a long life, but I do wish more had come of our relationship.  Alas it is too late

Once a man passes, the library is closed..

All take heed.

Dave


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## Paulsv (Mar 3, 2010)

Prayers and positive thoughts for your dad. My dad had a very serious stroke- 6 days in a coma, and totally lost his ability to speak or walk. It was a long recovery process, but he really came back well in the end, including his speech, and he enjoyed five more years of good life before cancer took him. He was a tool and die-maker, and my great regret is that I didn't get into this hobby until after he was gone. So many things I'd love to be able to discuss with him about it now. And he'd have gotten a real kick out of seeing my struggles. But he did teach me a great deal about tools and things mechanical, and I have all of his machinist's tools. I feel like I am getting to know another side of him through his tools.


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## Deanofid (Mar 4, 2010)

Webster, best wishes an hopes for your dad's swift recovery. 

Dean


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## Maryak (Mar 4, 2010)

Web,

I know a little of how you feel as my Dad was one of my mentors. I wish your Dad a speedy recovery.

Kind Regards
Bob


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## ChooChooMike (Mar 4, 2010)

Websterz - welcome to HMEM and THANK YOU for a very poignant reminder about life. :bow:

Mike


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## John Rudd (Mar 4, 2010)

Very thought provoking....
My best best wishes to you and your family and a speedy recovery for your father.


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## kendo (Mar 4, 2010)

Web
     My heart felt best wishes and hope a very speedy recovery
    for your father
                  Ken


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## Blogwitch (Mar 4, 2010)

Web,

I don't do prayers, but all my wishes for a speedy recovery of your father.

Your words are very poignant and a good reminder on a site such as this. 

I lost my father and also a few mentors before I had time to absorb all their knowledge. 

I regularly wonder just how much knowledge was lost forever in their passing. That is the reason I will watch, read and listen to everything that is put in front of me, even by youngsters, who generally can come up with new ideas when an older brain gets stuck.

I do hope your father recovers to a stage where you can at least communicate, I am sure he has a lot more to tell you, and it will all be pure wisdom.


Blogs


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## ozzie46 (Mar 4, 2010)

Webster; Sorry to hear about your father. My best wishes and prayers go out to your family for a speedy recovery.

 Both my parents are gone now for several years. I have a sister at age 56 going thru "rapid early onset dementia" do to brain tumors and the treatment for them. I know full well the feeling of helplessness at watching a strong person mentally deteriorate before your eyes.

  God bless you and your family.

 Ron


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## b.lindsey (Mar 4, 2010)

Excellent advice Webster. All the best to you, your dad, and your entire family. May his recovery be both rapid and complete.

Bill


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## gbritnell (Mar 4, 2010)

Webster, my prayers and thought go with you.
George


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## spuddevans (Mar 4, 2010)

My best wishes for you and for your family. This reminds us all that we are very fragile creatures and we must take care of ourselves and those around us. I wish your father well in his recovery.


Tim


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## itowbig (Mar 4, 2010)

this has touched me deeply as my father was a great diesel mechanic and i as a young punk kid i never really 
learned a lot from him although he did teach me welding and some mechanics and now i regret every moment that i could have had. he is dead and gone now and i wish he was still around so i could gather what he knows but its way to late. so for all u people out there u must enjoy every minute of every day with ur mothers, fathers, children, grand children, cause they are here for a very short time .

 i wish u and ur father the very best and prayers are being sent so he can get fully recovered.


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## capjak (Mar 4, 2010)

Dear websterz,

I'm sorry to hear about your father. 

I'll bet that if we were to poll the members of this board, the overwhelming response would be that they wish that they had been given and more importantly heeded your advice.

Please have patience, hte recovery rate of stroke victims improves every day.

Jack


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## Paolo (Mar 4, 2010)

Hi Web 
...unfortunately I know very well that history...I wish your father further recovery.

Paolo


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## woodchip85 (Mar 4, 2010)

Best best wishes to you and your family, i hope your father makes a quick and full recovery.


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## websterz (Mar 4, 2010)

Thank you all so much for the prayers and kind words. I talk to my mom and dad every day on the phone (they are 3 hours away) and he is already making AMAZING progress! My mom works with him several times a day and he has remastered the alphabet, days of the week, months of the year, and other ordered lists like that. They have been driving around reading street signs, billboards, etc, and she says he is getting better by the minute. Talking to him on the phone, unless you knew him before the fact, you'd just think he was distracted and stumbling for an occasional word. His attitude when it happens is "Aww to &^%$ with it...must not be important." :big: Today on the phone he stopped me in my tracks with "I love you son" out of the blue. In 41 years I don't remember him ever saying it first, or with such feeling. I think he is going to be alright guys. I really do. ;D


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## ksouers (Mar 4, 2010)

Websterz,
I know first hand what your father is going through. Five years ago I woke up one morning and my right side was paralyzed. Walking was difficult and my hand was useless. I made it into my office and typed out an email with only my left hand telling my boss that I wouldn't be in to work that day, then proceeded to drive myself to the hospital, about 2 miles away.

They ran a bunch of tests and after a couple hours told my I'd had a stroke. Actually, at least two of them. I was living at our house in New Mexico at the time and my wife was in St Louis, so I was all alone. We made travel arrangements and I was soon in St Louis for surgery. 

I could not use my right hand, the fingers were curled inward into a loose fist, I couldn't straighten them. I couldn't feed myself or sign any papers. Simple tasks suddenly became near impossible. Like your father I had trouble with words. I knew what I wanted to say but no longer had the vocabulary.

Over the next several weeks I practiced writing. I walked several times a day, not far at first, but kept stretching it out as far as I could. Walking was the first thing to improve and I could almost fully open my hand. After about a month I could finally sign my name. Other writing and typing quickly followed. My vocabulary also recovered though I still have problems with words to this day.

I still have difficulties, mostly reading and writing. But also my fingers don't work quite as well as they used to. Last year I was offered and accepted the position of database administrator within my company, a promotion of sorts. This was after the stroke.

I'm telling this so that you will know, and you can relay it to your father, that he can recover from this. There will be a point when things get much better. But he has to practice, he can't give up. He can lead and enjoy a normal life. Some things will be different, certainly, but it doesn't have to keep him down. The brain has an amazing capacity to repair itself, but it has to know what is broken. So keep trying to do things he did before, be safe, but keep at it.

I offer your father, and your family, the most heartfelt and sincere wishes for a speedy recovery and many more years of love and life together.


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## ozzie46 (Mar 5, 2010)

Thanks for the update Web. Thats great to hear.


 Ron


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## Maryak (Mar 5, 2010)

Good News Web, thanks for the update.

Best Regards
Bob


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## GOOFY063 (Mar 5, 2010)

thats great news web.keepem close cause someday they wont be there i suredo miss mine


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